Unfiltered Insanity

HUGE

Posted By Lisa on August 31, 2010

If you haven’t noticed by my recent posts, I’m kind of interested in/sensitive to/hyper-aware of the issue of obesity, eating disorders, and weight loss. Some of the reason is because I’m obese. Some of the reason is because I have my own eating disorder. HUGE-on-ABC-Family

ABC Family has this show, called HUGE (and is why I named this blog title such). When I saw the commercials for this show and kind of winced but I knew I was going to give it at least one episode. I thought, as a mother, a formerly obese teen, and currently obese woman, I should see if the message is one that I would want my kids to hear or hear something in the show that would speak to the former “me” (or even the current me).

I watched the first episode and was kind of appalled. Nikki Blonsky (from the new rendition of Hairspray) plays Willamena Rader, and Wil is “OK with her fat” and “BFFs with her fat.” She hates being at “Camp Victory” and doesn’t see the need to change. I really wondered if the show was going to have any redeeming qualities, but by the end of the first episode, my curiosity was piqued.

The series has progressed and she’s developed friendships and crushes and all those things that people tend to do. And while Wil has stopped fighting and started participating in the camp, she remains ever the rebel: steadfast in her resistance to change. Of course, through the series, you start to understand why Wil is like this. You get glimpses into what her family is like and why she was sent to the camp. Your heart softens. You get glimpses into many of the kids as well and how each one affects the other.

huge cast I was impressed with a lot of things in this show. It touched on a lot of crucial themes relevant to overweight teens and, really, just teens in general. (Hell! Just people in general.) Overeating as an eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia, exercise, cliques, teasing, homosexuality, family dysfunction, divorce, dating, unrequited romance, forbidden romance, and ultimately, the desire to fit in and be accepted as you are. And who hasn’t dealt with that (or still does)? The characters (both adults and kids) make mistakes and they don’t all get resolved and there’s often a crisis on how best to resolve the situation.

Of course, like many of the teen-centered shows on ABC Family, there is a PSA towards the end of the show advocating a healthy lifestyle. (For Secret Life it’s about teen sex… on Make It or Break It it’s about eating disorders as well)

What ultimately struck me about this show is that I think it accurately portrays some really important truths, which is that all teens tend to struggle with the same issues, and when you’re overweight, it’s just one more thing and added to it, you get teased.

Wil, despite her self-centered view of the world, is pretty level-headed when it comes to her weight. You realize that it’s not so much she doesn’t want to lose weight, but she doesn’t want to do it to please anyone but herself. She doesn’t seem to feel the need to fit into the cookie-cutter view of the world, but you start to see that she does want to change, and while it hasn’t been touched on much, hopefully for the right reasons: for herself and for her health.

I’m not saying this show is for everyone. There are definitely moments where I roll my eyes at the acting, the subject matter, etc. I will say that once they dug a little deeper, the subject matter became a lot more respectable. Ultimately I think it holds a good message for teens (and some grown ups) of all sizes:

No matter what you look like, what you want to look like, everyone is basically equal inside. The ones who seem to have it all together, don’t.
We all go through times where we hate ourselves, no matter the reason.
We all need people to accept us and love us.
We should all be more understanding of the struggles people go through.
We all need to be healthy, not because of what you’ll look like in a bathing suit, but because it’s important to all our lives.

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Dear Facebook

Posted By Lisa on August 26, 2010

Dear Facebook,

Forgive me for my pissy rant, but I’m really annoyed with you. I remember a time when you were a means of communication. A place where I could catch up with old friends. A place where I can keep up with new friends. A place where I can share pictures of my kids and see pictures of my friends’ kids. I could play a few puzzle games and didn’t have to worry about gaining anything from the game.

Seriously, dear Facebook… How many farming games do we need? YoFarm, Farmityville, FarmFarmFarmy, Farmville, Farmtastic, Farmsations, Farmalicious, FarmHouseRock, FarmStory 1-2-3, F-A-R-M in the USA… I mean seriously. And what about the apps for “Phrasely” or “Likey?” How many ridiculous things are we making up to “start a movement” of likes? “Press Like if you hate Bobby.” You can even “Like” yourself! I know we live in a narcissistic society, but really? If you have to hit a “like” button on Facebook to give yourself that “extra confidence boost” then, you need more help than a Facebook button can give you….

(And no one I know on Facebook has ever “Liked” themselves to my knowledge, which I THANK you for… just something I discovered you can do.)

But I digress…. back to Facebook…

I’m really tired of the drama. I would like a stress-free, debate-free, religion-free (religion free… not necessarily God-free) politics-free Facebooking experience. Not that I don’t have passions and issues I like to discuss, but I’ve learned from having such a diverse group of friends (politically and religiously), that Facebook is not always the best forum for such issues… it’s why we have blogs.

I’d love to see my Facebook get back to what I started it for: To connect with people I cannot connect to in person on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis. To see how you’re doing. To rejoice in the great things that are going on in your life, and to cry with you during the shitty things.

Maybe, Facebook, we need to remove the apps. Maybe the Vampire Wars and Aquariums can happen somewhere else. Maybe we can just do what we’re designed to do and connect.

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Quiet Time Activities

Posted By Lisa on July 23, 2010

So here’s how “Quiet Time” works during the summer in our house… our two-bedroom house.

Sophie goes into her room to look through books, color and draw, play with her toys (quietly… as she rarely falls asleep). Annabelle, on the other hand, goes to sleep in my room. I have to lie down with her because if I don’t, she’ll get up, go through drawers, play with things, eat. my. chapstick *snarl*.

But lying down with her always makes me sleepy. My bed is SO. COZY. So I’ve had to come up with ideas to keep myself awake.

I’ve tried reading, but that still puts me to sleep. I tried watching DVDs on my player, as well as listening to music on my iPod Touch or books on my other MP3 player, but she gets interested in what I’m doing and riles up. I had to find something to do while we both lie still.

I came up with:

Operation, the game....

No… not playing the game! THAT would automatically keep her awake and interested in what was going on around her. I play word games with the word OPERATION! (Why.. YES! Yes I am a nerd.)

open
rate
ration
not
note
rape
reap
pear
pare
par
rat
tin
ion
ratio
oar
rote
nit
pit
pot
pat
pet
poor
rite
root
ton
tar
tare
tear
tier
patio
tore
pore
pier
near
neat
nape
pane
peat
rope
nor
porn (oh, geez, the spam bots that are going to have a field day with THAT word)
port
pint
rant
pant
paint

I’m sure there are more words that I’ve found, and maybe a few that I haven’t, but this is what I do to keep myself awake while I’m waiting for my kid to fall asleep. Sometimes, if it takes a long time, I will add “skill” and “game” to expand my word choices.

Yes, I realize I’m a nerd. Now you all can feel more free to admit your nerdiness… because you KNOW you have something like this, equally as nerdy that you do!

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My Eating Disorder, My Kid, The Change.

Posted By Lisa on July 8, 2010

I’ve been saying for a little while that I am going to write a post about children and eating disorders. This is something that I have a real passion about. As someone who was told from the age of 6 or 7 as long as I can remember that I was fat and that I needed to lose weight and put on diets by my mom and grandmother… As someone who has suffered the eating disorder of being an over eater… I really have a passion for it.

I hate to go out to eat alone. I feel self conscious if I buy something even remotely “bad for you” in the checkout line. I often feel like “normal” people are looking at me saying “Man! Can’t she wait to eat?” Or “Ew, she just has NO. SELF. CONTROL.” Ummm… I do have self-control. Quite a bit of it actually. I can honestly go all day (or sometimes more) without eating at all. I only crave really unhealthy things when TOM comes to visit. I do have a problem with portion control, but it is under much better control now. I did live a very sedentary lifestyle up until a couple of months ago, but seems to be resolving itself quite well. I know exactly how I got to where I am today.

I hid food. Mostly candy, things that were easily stored and small that I could keep in my nightstand. Even as an adult. I didn’t binge on these things, exactly, and TRUST ME! I NEVER. THREW THEM UP! I remember, about six or eight months ago. Before Mom got sick, before the YEAR OF SUCKAGE began, I made cookies. I was on my way up to my bedroom for a nap and I took some with me. In a napkin. In my pocket. I told myself at the time that I was hiding them from the kids. I didn’t want them to see me with them because then they would want some and I didn’t want them to eat that kind of food right then, they’d already had enough. That’s what I told myself. Except, I wasn’t only hiding them from the kids. I hid them from Seth too. What? Why? I’m a grown-ass woman and if I feel like eating some damn cookies then I’m going to eat some damn cookies and NO ONE should have anything to say about it, right?

Well, that thought process works great in theory! Take responsibility for your food choices! How simple!

How SO. NOT. SIMPLE. for me.

So, in January I decided to change how I look at food. I decided that I was going to eat natural items. Whole grains, loads of fruits and veggies, get rid of refined flours in my house, no more processed shit.

THEN. The SUCKAGE began! Mom got sick. I spent all my time dividing my attention between taking care of Mom and taking care of Seth and the kids. I was the first person I neglected. I ate fast food probably daily. I rarely cooked at home. Frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, fries, burgers: processed shit! Really, it was all I could do to make it out of bed in the morning. I honestly remember very little about those 6(ish) weeks. Then for a month and a half after Mom died, I really didn’t change anything. We ate out less, but still more than we should have.

All that’s changed now. As you can see from other posts these past few weeks, I really care about my body and about eating healthy, and I’ve made myself SO. AWARE. of the food language I use in my household with my children and the image I choose to portray to them.

So tonight, I was in the grocery store getting some essentials. Bread, milk, cereal, bananas, plums…. ya know… real food. I’m kinda lackadaisically perusing the aisles (I almost spelled it: isles… Freudian slip much???). And I hear this kid behind me going, “But MOM! I really like this kind of chocolate!” To which she replied, “No, you know you’re on a diet.” To which he replied, “Nope, I’m off it.” To which her reply sounded a lot like, “The Hell you are.” It took. EVERY. FIBER. of my being not to turn around and say: “Do you want your kid to be obese for the rest of his life? No? Then stop telling him he needs to change and just make the damn changes! He’s eight (or nine, or ten or however old he is) for crying out loud!” And let me just point out, this kid was husky, not fat. All he probably needs is a sport to get into and a few basic food changes in the house.

Our children depend on US for their nutrition. From the day they are born until the day they cook for themselves, we are 100% responsible for what goes into our child’s bodies. They learn how to eat by watching us. They learn about food choices by what we tell them. When they go off to school, whatever you taught them in the house is what they take with them. It’s how they make their choices.

You teach them the difference of right and wrong. You teach them to respect other people and their things. You teach them that drugs are bad for them. So if you teach them all that, why not this? This is just ONE. MORE. THING. you have to teach them! It takes planning and concentration and sacrifices (time, energy, not keeping junk food in the house) on your part. You can’t give them french fries and pizza and chicken nuggets and hope for the best!

Here’s my point: telling a young child that they need to be on a diet and emphasizing his/her weight problem will only cause that child to feel they are not acceptable in their parents’ eyes. And I get it. Any parent who has a child at an unhealthy weight just wants their kids to be healthy. They don’t realize the damage they are causing. They don’t understand what the “diet language” does to kids.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll know that a few weeks ago we had an incident where my daughter was convinced that she’s fat! The kid is NOT. FAT. We basically figured out that she lied when she said her grandma said it, but, obviously, Sophie and I had to have a little (basic, five year old language) chat about body image, healthy eating habits, and healthy exercise habits.

Do I worry about her becoming overweight? OH YEAH I DO! I have always been overweight. Her dad is overweight. Her grandmothers are overweight. My sister is overweight. My mom was overweight before she got sick. My maternal grandmother was overweight. Obesity runs in our family like cancer!

If weight ever becomes an issue for our kids, we would explain that we had failed them somewhere along the way and we’re going to focus on getting them to a healthier place in their lives and we’re going to start eating better as a family and that we’re all going to exercise more as a family. And then we’d DO it.

Honestly, though, (and I don’t mean to sound arrogant or bitchy or anything) I don’t think I will have to deal with it. We talk a lot about the nutrition of foods. We keep very little junk in the house. Do I let them eat candy and cookies and ice cream? Heck yeah! Do they COMPLETELY understand that they are treats and not something that she should eat very often? Sophie does and we’re trying to teach it to Annabelle in a 2 year old understanding. We also go out and play as often as weather allows (which reminds me…. it’s time to fill up the pool!). We’re on the right path and I can only thank God that I came to be more aware of my own body in time for me to pass this on to our kids at an early age for their sakes!

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My Humble (or not so much) Opinion

Posted By Lisa on July 1, 2010

Yesterday, the FABULOUS Nic, from My Bottles Up, posted this rant. As a fellow rape and sexual assault survivor, it really SPOKE to me and so I went on to vent about it on my Facebook page, which is something I really SHOULD know better than to do, because although I am a Christian, I tend to lean more liberally on certain subjects, which upsets my very conservative friends. (and vice versa on subjects that I’m very conservative about, I upset my liberal friends about… oh the joys of being a moderate conservative!)

Another reason I should know better than to post stuff on my Facebook page is I tend to post there quickly without really FILTERING my feelings about some things. So here’s my TRUE. HONEST. opinion about abortion.

I am against abortion. I don’t think that it’s the right thing to do. I think that if you make the decision to have sex out of wedlock and you get pregnant, that you should accept responsibility for your actions. (Oh, and there’s NO. REASON. to pass judgment on the unwed mother or father… seriously, folks. That’s between them and God.) I also don’t agree that if you find out that your baby has some kind of disease that you don’t feel is “fair” or that you “can handle” you shouldn’t terminate that pregnancy.

Here’s what I DO think about situations of rape. That woman was already FORCED, DRUGGED, or COERCED into doing something they unequivocally DID. NOT. want to do. That woman should NOT be forced to carry NOR forced to terminate the pregnancy if they CHOOSE not to. They need to have a choice in their body, especially as a result of something that happened where choice was completely taken away from them.

As for me, at the time of my rape, I would have had an abortion if I’d gotten pregnant. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. I would have trusted the doctor I saw to take care of me. I would not have felt that I was being violated or that the violence of the act was being perpetuated. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have felt guilty, but I probably wouldn’t regret it.

(I’ve done a lot of “wrong” things in my life and I have no regrets, because I now see how the path I took led me to Christ. I’m not saying that I didn’t feel guilt over some of them, but I’m FORGIVEN and looking back like that will do nothing but further Satan’s cause to push me to sin further!)

If it were to happen to me now. Now that I know Christ. Now that I have different beliefs. I probably would NOT choose to abort the baby, but give it up for adoption instead.

And since I’ve never had the pregnancy aspect happen to me, I’ll TRULY never know what my decision would have been, but I can tell you I would want to have a CHOICE.

(TRIGGER WARNING: If you’re a rape survivor, be WARNED! This next paragraph COULD trigger an anxiety attack.)

Let me see if I can let you into the mind of a sexual assault survivor:

Oh, shit! What happened? What did I do? Did I actually say “no” or did I just think it? Does it matter? I remember struggling. Did I? I remember asking him to stop. Did I? Was I drugged? What if he drugged me and then I liked it. I feel kinda sick *vomit*. That really happened. Why me? Did my actions say I’m a whore and I’m only good for sex? Well, it must be all I’m good for, because he did it. Did he use a condom? Oh shit, what if I get pregnant? *vomit* Oh, there’s a condom on the ground next to me. phew. What if it broke? No one’s ever going to believe me. Oh God! I just want to die. Please let me die. Am I dead yet? How can I die?

After that comes the PTSD. PTSD is a FUN (not) disorder where you continually have anxiety and fear. It is made worse by the depression that comes after.

Then there comes the numbing. What can I do to numb myself? Drugs, alcohol, promiscuous sex (all paths that I have traveled down to numb myself after I was raped when I was 19), dangerous thrill-seeking (NOT something I’ve done). And if a woman is pregnant, but doesn’t want to be, unless she is VERY strong in her faith OR is in some kind of denial, will probably turn to those things to either terminate the pregnancy herself, or just to numb herself to the pregnancy.

Even after a woman seeks counseling for rape or other sexual assaults, the depression and anxiety don’t just “magically” disappear. Even Christian women who have turned their horrors over to Christ still deal with this to some extent. We’re never fully healed. Some men still give us the creeps, no matter what kind of guy they are (even some women). Any kind of discussion on the subject can trigger these feelings. Really, anything can trigger the feelings. Smells, sounds, seeing someone who even has one feature of the man can be a trigger.

Again, I’m not a pro-choicer (though it may sound like it). I am FIRMLY against abortion. You can refer to the earlier paragraph to read my real opinion about abortion. I’m not saying that I think they should or shouldn’t have the abortion. But in this instance, I’m pretty firm in my belief that a woman raped should be given a choice… and no condemnation. If she decides to carry the baby to term then that’s awesome (and very courageous and strong and a woman to be ADMIRED), but should she decide not to, she shouldn’t be forced to (and still very courageous and strong and a woman to be ADMIRED because she SURVIVED and didn’t KILL HERSELF or that HE didn’t kill her).

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Influencing our Kids

Posted By Lisa on June 9, 2010

**Taken from my personal blog at SparkPeople**

As many of you are parents, you and I have the same goal:

Give our kids a healthy view of food and their bodies.

That being said, I woke up this morning to my daughter, 5, making a bowl of yogurt with strawberries and grapes mixed in. (Gee… I *wonder* where she gets THAT from???) I didn’t even go into the kitchen while she was doing this. I was too scared to see what was going on.

So, out she comes from the kitchen, with my smallest MIXING BOWL… the bottom layer is lemon yogurt, then enough grapes to cover it, then 10-15 strawberries (WHOLE) on top. The bowl is FULL!

So, Am I really complaining about the fact that she got the fruit out and made a healthy breakfast? NOPE.

Do I wish she’d waited for me to cut up the fruit and made it easier to eat and used a little less fruit? YES!

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Exercise and Motivation

Posted By Lisa on June 4, 2010

****Post I’m sharing from my SparkPeople blog****

Don’t let the title of this post fool any of you. I’m still motivated. I’m not reaching a plateau (I don’t think). I’m not bored.

I’m really HORMONAL! I know that exercise is good during this time of the month and I will get there. I’m not there yet. I was motivated this morning, but it is very hard to get in cardio with kids around, not to mention I had things to do (like… the dishes, and the laundry, and vacuuming). Then by the time I have time, cramps, and fatigue sink in and I just. can’t. do. it. I try. I just can’t. So I cut some calories while I’m not exercising.

So, here’s where the motivation comes in. I went to Target for some basic groceries: eggs, yogurt… got some other stuff like Fiber One bars and almonds and 100 calorie cheese it snacks for the days that I NEED a salty, crispy snack and the carrots don’t cut it. So… I walked over to the clothes section! I started at the workout clothes, hoping to find something inexpensive to boost my motivation and their stuff is just too expensive for me (plus I’m not sure if the 2x would fit… the xxl at Walmart fits in the pants… not the plus stuff of the danskin, the regular xxl… which feels a little good… and is a little cheaper).

So I walked through the plus size section and I said “Good bye.” I said good bye to the clothes. I looked at what my size is (possibly “was” but I wasn’t going to find out) and I was blown away by how BIG it looked. The lady that was there looked at me like I was NUTS for saying, “I’m NEVER buying this size again!” I just wanted to give her the SP website, but she might have reported me for harassment.

Then I walked to the skinny section. My NEW section. I can’t fit into ANYTHING there yet, but I refuse to stay that way. I’ve decided that my goal is probably a size 10. Maybe 12, but definitely 10 is what I’m hoping for. I looked at the 2s and 4s and thought… mmm, too skinny. When I held out the 10s I felt good. It didn’t seem anorexic (I know that some people are naturally thin, but I don’t think my frame would look good that skinny… who knows…). It felt healthy.

So for now, that’s how I’m staying motivated to eat right and in a few days, get back into the swing of all things cardio and start exercising again!

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Metamorphosis

Posted By Lisa on May 29, 2010

So, a week or so ago we found three caterpillars climbing up the wall on the outside of our home. My 4-yo Sophia had learned about the metamorphosis process at school so I thought it would be cool to review it at home and collect the caterpillars. So I grabbed a disposable tupperware container and tossed some leaves in and scooped them right up! It turns out that they were headed to my overhang to cocoon already so we didn’t have to wait long for them to cocoon. Yesterday and this morning our moths hatched from their cocoon. We let one out yesterday. It was fun to watch him fly off and watch my curious girls follow them around the yard. This morning, the other two had hatched and we let them go. (and I promptly DISPOSED of the container containing them) But the COOLEST thing happened. The moth, which was actually a beautiful pistachio color, wouldn’t really fly off at first and it climbed onto my finger when I held it close to him/her/it. It was a very peaceful moment, despite my two rambunctious kiddos exclaiming at the fact that I was actually HOLDING the butterfly!

It really got me thinking at how this little grub turned into this graceful winged creature. Made me think about how I’m changing into a much smaller, more graceful, and more peaceful person. Later I saw the two moths we set free fluttering together playfully and just smiled. God really let me into the peace and beauty of His world and gave me the revelation to know that who I am is His, but who I’m becoming will give me the ability to do more for Him.

(I know not all of you are Christians, and I try not to bring my faith in here very much because I’m here to get support and give support and make friends; and I don’t care what your faith is (or isn’t) to give and get support and be your friend!)

On another note, my cold was real. I was quite feverish on Thursday night, but Thursday morning I ate two vitamin C chewables, and again at bedtime, and two more when I woke up on Friday morning. I also drank lots of water. I feel lots better and was able to have fun with Sophia at her class party and can’t wait to get some more exercise in today!

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What ARE you doing? Where are you GOING?

Posted By Lisa on May 26, 2010

****I’m not plugging SparkPeople for any other reason than the fact that I LOVE them!****

About two weeks ago my BFF came to visit me from Atlanta. She had lost some weight and was looking pretty great. I was curious about it but I didn’t really care. I didn’t think I was ready to lose weight. It’s been such a tough year and I was perfectly comfortable where I was… HA!

While she was here she showed me this website she was using to track her nutrition, fitness, measurements, etc. SparkPeople! She explained it as “facebook for people who are health and fitness minded or want to lose weight.” Me. Being who I am, a social networker (aka, a stay-at-home-mom who tends to get bored) decided to sign up and see what was up with it. I wasn’t totally committed. I can just cancel the account. It was FREE anyway!

Until.

After my friend left, I was sitting on the lid of my toilet putting lotion on my feet. I had to adjust my weight to get to my foot. *CRACK* “What the F*&^?!?!?!?!?!” I stand up and my FAT ASS cracked the lid to my toilet seat. HOLY EMBARRASSMENT! Seriously? I’m so fat I cracked my damn toilet lid?

I didn’t cry. But it was like something just snapped in my head. If I had had an AK-47, C4, spray paint I might have gone on a shooting rampage to all the places I love to eat. No civilian casualties or anything. Just damage to the buildings. It was like an insanity kind of snap. I would imagine it is quite akin to when postal workers, in fact, go postal.

The next day I pretty much determined I was DONE. I was over it. I wasn’t going to be fat anymore. Just not going to do it. I’m so EFFING. DONE!!!! Done, done, done, done, done, done, done.

That was pretty much when I decided, you know what? I’m going to learn to run. It’s super-efficient at burning calories. I can do it anywhere. I don’t need a gym membership (except in the winter when there’s 18 inches of snow everywhere…). I just need some shoes every few months. And what woman doesn’t love shopping for shoes? Right?

And I’ll tell anyone my embarrassing “DONE” story. “Why would you ever tell anyone that story. It’s so embarrassing!” Yes. It is. And the more I relive how embarrassing it is, the more motivation it gives me. Not to mention, if I tell everyone I’m trying to lose weight, that’s just that much more accountability I have (and not just online, in person too. It’s easy to fool people online, but not people you see every day, or once a week, or once a month!).

My goals are:

Be out of the plus sizes by my birthday in September (and if I can’t by then, then by Christmas)
Run a 5K next year.
Learn a martial art like karate or kickboxing (not aerobic kickboxing, REAL kickboxing!)
Then I want to learn how to dance. (ballroom, ballet, ANY KIND OF DANCE!)

It’s been 10 days since that happened and I’ve gone on several walks and started jogging part of it. I do some aerobic “videos” that are free on my OnDemand. I’ve started some strength training I can do at home with my dumbbells and my band and my yoga mat. I’d like to get a ball soon and I need some good workout clothes (some tight capris and a good sports bra). Money’s tight, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to get those things, but that’s it.

I’ve lost 10 pounds, 2.5 inches off my waist, and I think 6-10 inches total from my body! I feel great. My anxiety levels are down. My PTSD symptoms are significantly decreased. I have so much more energy. I fall asleep faster. Wake up easier. And since I’ve started getting all my water in, I’ve had much fewer headaches! I don’t think I can ever go back to eating the way I used to.

As far as food, I eat only whole grain pastas and breads. I switched to brown rice. I use lean meats. I’m taking in at least 3 servings of dairy a day. I’m trying to eat more and more fruits and vegetables. I’m making sure all my meals consist of good carbs, lean meats, and something fresh. I also give in to treats whenever I crave them. If I eat a little chocolate when I want it, I won’t buy a shopping basket full of it when the craving gets unbearable. And I don’t feel guilty about it. I just put it in my tracker and move on. I REFUSE to deprive myself and I REFUSE to feel guilty about it.

And the best part about SparkPeople, well, I don’t know if there’s just ONE part… I think the things I like best are

The trackers. It calculates your BMI, weight, and fitness plans and then gives you a calorie, carb, fat, and protein range to make sure you’re eating well. Put everything in your tracker and see where your downfalls are and you can adjust and make changes accordingly.
The support system. There are teams you can join for your city, your weight goals, health issues (i.e. diabetes or hypothyroidism), your fitness program, just completely social things like hobbies or TV shows, just about anything you can think of. Not to mention, the friends you make who are always there to give you a pat on the back or words of encouragement if you’re struggling!
The articles and other resources. Lots of useful information to help, including a recipe sister site that gives you great healthy choices that are YUMMY!

The website really takes a lot of the problems people have with successful weight loss and eliminates them if you really take advantage of the full scope of the program!

So that’s what I’m doing. That’s what has happened to my 10 pounds. I’m going to lose half of me! That’s where that me is going.

(OH! And if you decide to join up, my user name is *gasp* LISAUNFILTERED. Don’t forget to mention me in the referrals… I’ll get 10 spark points… which don’t mean anything except… I get spark points. It’s another motivation tool)

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Pizza and Beer… Part 2: The Review

Posted By Lisa on April 11, 2010

So, it’s been a long time coming but I am finally writing my review. After all the vacations, illnesses, and death *whew* I’m tired again just thinking back on it all!

So back in 2009, CSN, home of Cookware.com, sent me a request to do a review and giveaway for an item of my choosing on their webpage within certain parameters. After perusing their website for several hours (I mean, how do you choose??) I finally settled on a cast iron pizza pan for us and a set of pilsners (which they have apparently discontinued) for you all to win!

So, I really love my pizza pan. It cooks a nice crust and is great to make a fatty food MUCH healthier at home with natural ingredients. When I make pizza, I tend to gravitate toward whole wheat flour and homemade tomato sauces to avoid all the processed stuff, and since I make it myself, we control the amount of grease that is on our pizza (because EWWW!!!)

So, here is a picture montage of my pizza making!