Unfiltered Insanity

It’s Friday and that means that it’s time to join in with Kat over at the 3 Bedroom Bungalow to rant directly at the people who are annoying you without them reading it (possibly, unless you’re mad at the Blogosphere, then… well… just watch what you write!). So if you need to rant, grab the button, head over to Kat’s place and sign the Linky, and write your own Dear So and So post.

Dear VCR,

I trusted you to record my favorite show this week. YOU FAILED. You ate my tape. Man I need a DVR, but I can’t pay for one! So, yeah. YOU SUCK! Don’t do it again or you may find yourself in the garbage can! Got it?

Your trusting owner, Lisa

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Dear Husband’s Glasses,

EFF YOU! You break ON THE DAY that I go to court and find out we’re even further in debt than we were?! We were just so sweet to you and spent a ton of money putting new lenses in and you go and break without ANY NOTICE! Thanks! Thanks a lot! LOSER!

The wife of your owner, Lisa

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Dear Landlady,

You installed a ton of smoke detectors! Thanks! Now, can you come figure out why the one in the living room goes off every hour without ANY SMOKE to set it off? Bring new batteries, bring a new detector, whatever, JUST FIX IT! It’s very annoying when your kids are sleeping and it goes off and two kids start crying.

Your tenant, Lisa

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My dearest eldest daughter,

I am so glad that you are excited by learning, but I’m not going to spend every hour of every day doing “learning” with you. I have other things I need to do, like laundry, change diapers, sweep, mop, feed you and your sister, and do the dishes. Please stop throwing a tantrum when I tell you “Not right now, sweetheart.” I don’t tell you this because I don’t want you to learn, I tell you this because I need to do something.

I love you and hope you keep this insatiable appetite for learning, Mommy

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Dear Sesame Street,

If you are going to keep putting celebrities on your show, can they continue to be as good looking as David Beckham? Do you know how much easier it is to deal with the redundancy of your programming if there is someone attractive to look at? Could you give them a bigger part? Thanks.

Your adoring fan (er… not so much, but if it will help put cute celebrities on, I’ll go with it), Lisa

PS, can you do something about Caillou? I already have one tantrum-throwing kid in the house. Thanks so much!

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Dear Twitterverse,

You guys ROCK! What you’ve done for Perksofbeingme to get her out of a toxic situation is amazing and quite the gesture.

LisaBrandos

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Dear Beer,

I have to take a hiatus from drinking you. I know I don’t drink you a lot, but you are expensive and I just cannot afford it. Please don’t cry, beer, I’ll be back! Soon. I hope.

Lisa

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Dear Youngest Child,

You act as if I don’t feed you enough. Before I can even get into the kitchen to sweep up from the previous meal, you are in there eating off the floor. That is seriously gross. Dude, SERIOUSLY! I feed you three solid meals a day and snack you in between, you’re not starving, so stop it! Put that BREAD DOWN! EWWWW!

Your gagging Mommy

So that’s it for now, go to Kat’s and join in the group therapy.

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This entry was posted by Lisa on Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.