Unfiltered Insanity

Last night/this morning I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You.” While there were some things that were unequivocally inappropriate in their messages (infidelity and it being OK, casual sex, etc.), there were some really very nice things. There was romance and comedy and I think they did a good job portraying how a lot of people have a hard time finding a good relationship in this day and age. It did leave me wondering, however, “Where did all the romance go?”

I’m so lucky to be married to Mr. B. We’ve been together for 8 years, married 7 this November, and this good-looking man still finds me sexy, funny, beautiful, etc. We’ve had two children and are more intimate now than we were before we had them. We annoy each other tremendously, which just proves to me that there is still passion between us to care about what the other is doing.

How did we meet? In a chat room on AOL. He was younger than I, but he was still quite the charmer. We spent hours upon hours chatting online, then the telephone for months before he made the move to come be with me. (He lived in Des Moines and I lived in Atlanta)

Don’t get me wrong, I love this man so much and I wouldn’t change anything in our life, ever. Still. Sometimes I watch movies like this and wonder what it would be like to meet someone and fall in love like they do. In person. Dating.

Then I remember… rejection, losers, cheap people who make me pay even though they asked me out, getting to know someone’s pet peeves and quirks, meeting friends and family members again, blind dates, and HALITOSIS! Would not back to that place. Ever. Again.

Sure there are issues in our marriage. Well, in general, not really, but there are days where we don’t get along. Days where we would like to be alone. Days where communication skills fail us and shouting commences. Days where we are so tired that intimacy eludes us. Bills. Chores. Diapers. Laundry. Everyday life.

Then there are days where we cannot stop thinking about each other. Days where I just about die in anticipation to see him again. To kiss him again. To have him hold me and tell me he loves me.

Last week I had a bad day. Like, really bad day. If you read my post last week where I told of my past, then you can imagine what kind of bad day I was having. Flashbacks, nightmares, the works. I had a meltdown and a complete shutdown. Just to take care of the kids was nearly impossible. I know some of you don’t/can’t understand that, having never suffered from depression or had a horribly traumatic experience in your life (God, how I envy you).

Mr. B could have chosen to not take it seriously. He could have chosen to tell me to “Get over it.” I’m sure is something he wanted to do because he doesn’t understand it all the time. (I know I complain, more than I should, about his lack of understanding, but I am starting to realize how frustrating it is from his end to have a wife who he loves so much be so broken and there is little that he can really do to “fix it,” which is the male natural response, to “fix it.”) Instead, however, he called me several times to check on me. He left work early and surprised me with a card and my favorite candy. He took over the kids and told me to rest. He let me go out that evening and didn’t even question about dinner or anything.

THAT is romance. Lemme tell you something, there is nothing sexier than a supportive husband. A loving husband. A husband who takes the time, when it matters most, to be there for me.

It may look a lot different from the movie romance, but the romance hasn’t gone ANYWHERE!

Tags:

This entry was posted by Lisa on Monday, July 27th, 2009 at 2:03 pm and is filed under Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.