Unfiltered Insanity

Have you ever been to the 3 Bedroom Bungalow in Crazytown? It’s cozy there. Warmth, family, friends! Kat is teh awesome. You should read her. And follow her on Twitter! So, go there. Grab button. Write your own Dear So and So. It’s therapy. Really.

Let’s get this session rollin’!

Dear S,

You are the funniest, sweetest, most imaginative little “almost 4 year old” I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. Seeing you every day, and getting to know you more every day, fills my heart with love and hope.

HOWEVER! If you don’t start being more obedient and less argumentative and snotty and snarky, I’m going to give you away.

Love, Mommy

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Dear Lisa Unfiltered…..

Remember to take your “Keep it Together” pills! You are going to go insane one of these days and then people will see you on the front lawn, naked, yelling at a piece of grass for not growing in the right direction and you really don’t want to spend the week in the mental ward next to your MIL. OK? I’m just looking out for you.

Cordially, Yourself

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Dear Lisa Unfiltered….

Remember, just because you like debate, does not mean that you should get involved in every debate. You are passionate and that is fantastic; however, your passion comes off a little strong. Remember, you are not in Miami. Speaking over people is not an approved method of cordial conversation. AND, you’re not in the South… interjecting in people’s lives and conversations, also not an approved method. Of anything. Jus’ Sayin’!

Seriously. Yourself.

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Dear New Amsterdam Gin:

I am going to have to take a lil vacay from you. You messed my tummy UP! But you’re sooooo delicious *drool*. Now I’m having a hard time deciding if you’re more delicious with Limeade or Strawberry Lemonade. *drool* Although I had a seriously fantastic evening with you and the Church Punk Mom on Wednesday.

Drooling, Lisa.

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Dear Iowa State Fair:

I’m not a regular attender, because, well, because I’m not a “state fair” type of person. Although, for a seasoned people watcher like me, it is certainly a veritable schmorgesborg of “eye candy.” (Trust me, I use that term very loosely and sarcastically.) I just was “tuned into” your plan to have CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON…… ON A STICK!!!!????!!!! Seriously???? First of all…… EW. Second of all……. are you trying to have one of the 500 pound waddlers who attend (especially for the races) ACTUALLY die of a heart attack AT THE FAIR???? That’ll be great for revenue! Unless Aman really did uncover your secret plan to acquire more money from the Obama administration for Universal Crapcare.

A concerned citizen, Lisa

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Dear Computers:

When a window updates and I’m in another window, and it blinks orange, it gives me an ANXIETY ATTACK! Sure, I may need to take my pills, but really…. Can you pick a more soothing color? I feel like I’m about to be blown up if I don’t get back to the window fast enough.

Currently panicking, Lisa.

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Dear readers.

Sorry for my insanity. Go click the button above and play too. Then you can tell me personally in your blog how crazy I am.

LisaUnfiltered

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This entry was posted by Lisa on Friday, August 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm and is filed under Dear So and So. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.