The Art of Being…
OK, I’d like to say, I’m not hating on anyone. I’m just having a soapbox moment and I thought I’d throw it up here for discussion… if anyone even reads this anymore.
A FB status caught my eye and I thought it was a really cool FB status. My friend said she spent the evening knitting, baking, and doing laundry. She was amazed at her evening, but I was thinking, sounds more or less like mine, except I didn’t bake, or do laundry, or knit even. But on most nights, after kids go to bed, I curl up on the couch with my crochet and watch TV. Or, a more common scene, after all my TV watching is done, I click on my sewing machine and work on whatever. A new purse, stuff for the shop that I’m trying to get done, whatever…
It didn’t bother me that she marveled at her evening. We crafters have to start somewhere. What bugged me a little were the comments (in jest) about “Knowing your Role as a Wife” and linking that ridiculous magazine article from 195?. Perhaps it’s just me, I’ve been off my KIT pills for a few days and I’m super-irritable. I know the jokes shouldn’t have bothered me. Then I got to thinking… when did we define being a good wife with doing things like knitting and baking or laundry even? Don’t we all need clean clothes? And isn’t this the mentality of “domestic=weak?” (Like, we’re too fragile and dainty and stupid because we cook and clean and craft. (To which, I reply, NOT HARDLY!)) I mean, this is why a lot of women out there don’t talk about the fact that they do these things or enjoy doing these things because they’re shamed into feeling like they aren’t “modern” enough! Then young kids don’t get taught how to do these things for the same reason and it slowly becomes a dying art.
I’m not saying that all women should want to do these things. Just like I will never say, “All women should stay home and take care of their kids,” or “All men should hunt” (mine doesn’t) or whatever blanket statements of ideology you want to throw out there. Won’t say it. Can’t say it. LOATHE blanket statements of ideology.
Here’s what I am saying: Can you just lay OFF! If a woman wants to knit or have dinner ready for her husband when he gets home or maintains an immaculate home (God KNOWS I don’t!!!), can’t we just say “Good for you!” Instead of spouting off your comments and jokes that all root from your own insecurities, just say “That’s amazing!” or “That’s really sweet of you.” or “Wish I had time to get all the laundry done.”
And for those of you who think needle crafts (Needle crafts are things like sewing, knitting, crochet, embroidery… i.e., crafts done with a needle) are not cool, look at what needle crafting can do for the world:
http://www.alwaysbeautifulyou.com/?gclid=CLK__tWhgp4CFSENDQodgA5ApQ
http://www.bcrfcure.org/part_comm_gr_quiltforacure.html
http://www.allfreecrafts.com/charity-crafts.shtml
Don’t take for granted a gift you’ve been given because someone made you feel like less of a person for enjoying it. Put it to use.
So that’s all! *steppin’ down from mah soapbox and bow*
http://tinyurl.com/jesuslovesyouthisiknow
AMEN LADY!! But, we all have to worry about what those in our own little bubble feel. Bill LOVES when I get all barefoot and wifey in the kitchen…his mom wasn’t much into the creative genius a kitchen has to offer a family so he gets all excited when I apply the skills my grandmother passed down to me. Also, he thinks its adorable that I crochet…he jokes with me when I’m workin’ that hook that I’m his “little old lady” but he thinks it cool and has me show him how its works because he is just naturally curious and appreciative of things he doesn’t know how to do.
My whole point is that, yes, its crap that people still have that mentality and pigeon-hole wives but when it boils down to it….all that matters is how our hobbies and interests affect our families and if THEY have the correct mind-set…maybe other people will see that and pick up on it.
I’m not so sure that women of pre-60s era had it all wrong though….in a lot of different aspects, they had a pretty good gig going!
I remember sitting in a sociology class many moons ago (probably like 6 years ago) where the professor cited research that if “domestic” women (ie – women who stay at home to maintain the house and raise the children) were to earn an equivalent salary to the same jobs performed by men outside the home, that the AVERAGE ANNUAL earning potential would be well over $150K. Think about it (figures have been adjusted for lack of FORMAL training). You are a janitor/maid – about $35K per year (with increases each year), a bus driver (kind of) – about $30K per year, a teacher/babysitter (if you have kids, which is applicable here) – $35K per year, a nurse – $20K per year, a photographer – $10K per year, a personal assistant and record keeper – $20K per year, a bookkeeper (which is applicable here, but not always) – $20K per year, a personal shopper – $20K per year (sometimes more), and the list continues!
When people start making you crazy, you can think of it in two ways:
1) They are totally jealous that you have the opportunity to stay at home with your children and foster this type of life for your family.
2) You are the largest asset your family has. Without you, they won’t function. This is not true for every mom or dad.
With Love.
Katey
PS – You will be HERE in 9 days! SOOOOOO excited