Aging Parents
This is a subject I never thought I’d have to deal with before I turn 30, but here I am. Truth be told, it’s not a total surprise. Brain cancer, brain surgery, radiation, stroke, remission, more brain cancer, and now a seizure disorder from all the scarring in her brain. It’s kind of obvious that this would be happening.
You know those old movies where the damsel is tied to the train tracks and the train is coming? Yeah, it’s like that. Except, there’s no hero to rescue me from the train that’s coming. I’m not the pretty damsel, I’m the short, fat, ugly damsel. No hero for me!
In the next few months I’ll be planning to find a new, bigger place to rent with room for my mom. Filing bankruptcy for my mom (as my mom has been incapable of making financial decisions for years now, but has been charging her credit cards like CRAZY…and lying to me about it). Trying to obtain power of attorney. Attempting to get her some life insurance. Drafting a will. All of this stuff that I have NO IDEA how to do or where it’s going to leave us when we’re done.
On top of this, I need to help my sister (who is a baby at the wee age of 18) create a resume, find appropriate interview clothing, find a full-time grown up job, and then help her find a place to live! I’m actually quite excited about this. I do wish she’d go to school as that would be better for her future, but I understand the financial distress of doing this, as she’s been witness to my mom’s financial failure and is petrified of following in her footsteps. (Maybe there’s hope for her after all!)
All of this has really gotten me thinking about aging. I’ve never been afraid of being elderly. I’ve never bought into the fears of my generation (or the one before me) who feared wrinkles and looking anything but 29. Wrinkles and gray hair are hardly anything to fear. I really fear aging and losing my memory. I fear senility. I fear not being able to make decisions for myself. Losing my independence. I’ve watched my mom go from an ex-army drill sargeant who was extremely smart and well-read to an old lady who can’t remember what day of the week it is, and who doesn’t care to get dressed in the morning because she’s going to lie in bed all day, and can’t drive anymore. That could be my legacy and it scares the shit out of me.
Where do I go from here?
http://tinyurl.com/jesuslovesyouthisiknow
I wish I had an easy answer to your question. Unfortunately, I don’t. I truly hope that you have a support group of great friends and relatives that can help you through this. Thinking of you – Sandy
You know… DON”T GO SEE THAT NEW ROBERT DiNERO FILM!!! You will think about this very subject more than you can imagine after seeing it. Lucky for you that your husband is a few years younger than you and can hopefully take care of you when you become “older”. Also, having to go through it now is a real testament that you don’t want to leave your children in the same boat you feel you are in with your mom. Sit down with Mr. B and write up your will. Update it every few years. Keep yourself in good health. Start saving now for our retirement community so we can play canasta and bridge together when we’re old (and try to kill each other like FB keeps saying we’re going to do). And above all, laugh often, even if it’s at yourself! I love you!