Let me start out by saying that my husband was fully aware and completely supportive of my previous post.  I wrote it a while ago and we had the chance to discuss it, pray about it, and decide on it before I ever hit “publish.”  He doesn’t feel like I’ve aired his “dirty laundry.”  I can understand why some of you do and I respect that you feel that way; however, Mr. B is forgiven for his sins and he chose to allow me to bring them to light.  Darkness is no place for sin.  That is where it festers and grows.  We should bring all things to the light and let God be the judge.  

So many of us carry around our “dirty little secrets” and hopes no one discovers our true face.  This is part of the lie that makes Christians so unbearable to those who don’t subscribe to Christianity.  Non-believers know that we have sin and have secrets, but we pretend that we don’t.  We put on our mask that portrays the “Good Little Christian,” then go home and gossip, fulfill our lustful intentions, drink yourself to oblivion, or whatever your particular brand of sin is.  For me, it’s anger and gluttony (like you couldn’t tell!).  We are all entrenched in sin.  The only difference is, I know Jesus’ love.  That’s it.  That’s the difference between me and the non-Christian.  Two people who need God’s love more than anything else.  One person knows it.  The other doesn’t.

I can summarize this book, in the author, Craig Gross’ own words, in one paragraph.

Jesus loves…now, fill in the blank.  Think of crooks and soccer moms, prostitutes and pastors, porn stars and CEOs.  Jesus loves every one of them.  To Jesus, we’re all just people who need God to save us from the mess we are in and lead us to a better way.

One of the reasons that they wrote this was because the message of Jesus has been “hijacked.”  It has been distorted.  So many people have used Christianity for their own endgame.  The Crusades, where people were killed for not believing in Jesus.  Constantine, who used Christianity to control commerce.  People still, today, use their Christianity to justify their political agendas. 

Jesus, it came to be understood, was not about giving, only getting.

Craig and Jason really seek to “re-brand” Jesus.  Not to match their view of Him, but to resketch Him to what He originally was.  You know the only quote I used about relationships in my last post?  Yeah, let me throw it into context for you.

For a long time Christians have been taught a three-step approach to God.  It starts with belief.  Essentially, if you believe the right things, it will lead to a change in behavior.  When you have changed your behavior, you will be accepted by the church.  Believe, Behave, Belong.

If you believe this way, you will behave this way, and if you behave this way, you can belong here.  This is preached, modeled, and affirmed in thousands of churches across America.

It’s time to flip this.  The Jesus of scripture reached out and loved people regardless of where they were…. 

I don’t believe that you can just “love people to God.”  And I don’t believe that is what the authors are saying.  That thought is patronizing to the people you are trying to reach.  You’re also just patting yourself (unduly) on the back thinking there is anything YOU can do to make someone believe anything.  That is God’s work.  Not ours.  Our work is to simply love God, love people, share the good news.  I’m personally glad that there’s nothing I can do to make people believe in Jesus.  I still sin.  I still get very angry.  I say stupid things.  I am not perfect.

Another thing I’d like to put into context for you is the term “pre-Christian.”  Perhaps I misused it.  Perhaps what I meant didn’t come across very well.  I have no problem calling people what they are.  I have a BIG problem with derogatory stigmas attached to them.  Just like those who know me well would say I have a big problem with “blanket statements.”  When it comes to people A+B cannot always = C.  That’s the beauty of how God created us.  The term refers to the lost.  Those who have not been saved by grace.  I’ll let Craig say it for himself:

….In life, Ron Jeremy cannot be my opponent.  He must be my friend.  Friends share friends and invite each other into their world.  We’re more alike than we are different.  We both have struggles, we both have challenges.  We both are in need of a Savior who loves.

How are you and I different?  If you are a person who has yet to understand that Jesus loves you, I would call you a pre-Christian.  How do you percieive Christians?

He’s not, and I am not, using the term to insult anyone or to not call a person what they are:  gay, thief, pornographer, businessman, mom, dad, teenager, or anyone not yet saved by grace.  If it comes off as insulting, there is frankly nothing I can do about that.  I didn’t coin the phrase.  I decided to “adopt” the phrase for the very reason that he did.  It accurately describes someone who has not yet come to know Christ’s love.  If you prefer the term “non-believer” or “non-Christian,” then, by all means, use that term.  The term is not meant for any one person, or lifestyle, in particular.  It refers to all who have yet to know Christ.  I apologize if that was not how I made it sound. 

I don’t want to be the face of Christianity that is judgmental and hurtful to anyone (followers of Christ or not).  I really love people and only seek to create real, honest, open relationships with people.  Jason echoes this feeling in the chapter, “Jesus Loves the Outcast.”  Which, ironically, is the chapter where he talks about his friend Joe, who is gay.  This happens right after Joe tells Jason about a horrible court case that exemplified the “church’s” hatred of homosexuality.

I apologized to Joe.  Over a cup of coffee, he had come face-to-face with a representative of the mythical right-winged monster that had been, proverbially speaking, chasing him for years.  He did expect me to be the face of the monster called “an evangelical.”  I only wnated to show him God’s love through an authentic friendship.  The church he thought hated him loved him.  It welcomed him in to discover more of God.  God loves and accepts people where they are, not where we think they should be.

God loves and accepts people where they are, not where we think they should be.  Powerful words.  Truer words have probably not been spoken.  (Well, they probably have, but you know what I mean!)  It’s something I struggle with and something that’s been imposed on me.

My goal in this post is to clarify some things that were misunderstood in my previous post, and for you, my lovely readers, to get a better feeling for the material in this book.  It really was a great read and I encourage you to grab your own copy.  Determine for yourselves what you think the author’s message is.

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Jesus Loves You, this I know

My family has been gripped and torn and chewed up by pornography and infidelity.  It is what it is.  I made a choice when I came back to the Lord that I would choose to love my husband despite anything that happens.  My husband is an amazing man.  He loves me so much.  He takes such good care of this family.  However, he does have a problem.  I hold him accountable for his actions, the same way that Jesus would, but I don’t judge him for it.  Sure, there are times when the temptation of sin wins over his desire to be faithful and pure before me and the Lord.  Those times send me into a place of horrible sadness and distress and anger.  Sometimes, during those times I want to leave.  But I don’t.  I know that I made a promise to my husband, a covenant to the Lord, that I would love and honor and respect my husband “For better, for worse, until death.”  Knowing that there’s a ministry that will support him and love him without judgement in his transgressions, and love and support me as I try to support him, is why this ministry is so important. 

I don’t blame my husband for his addiction, though I hold him accountable for his actions.  I don’t blame the porn industry for being there, though I wish it weren’t.  I blame the Weaver of Lies.  I blame Satan.  I blame Satan for tempting him.  I blame Satan for luring actors, directors, and producers with cash for sin.

Loving people entrenched in sin.  That’s what Craig Gross’ ministries are about.  For me, it is easy to love the lost.  Most of my friends are not Christians.  Most of the people I chat with on Twitter are not followers of Jesus.  I’m glad.  En masse, I don’t like Christians.  Let me esplain, Christians, en masse, act like a bunch of Pharisees.  They hide behind their righteousness while condemning the world to Hell. 

When the book was announced, I was excited to read it.  I knew that Craig Gross and Jason Harper would be telling us to LOVE sinners.  To reach out to the lost, the forgotten, the criminals, the homosexuals and people of other sexual orientations.  I hate that phrase: “the homosexuals.” The way it sounds just screams “OUTCAST!”  All those phrases, really.  I like the term Craig uses, “pre-Christian.”

The book came in the mail (I didn’t even know in advance that I was selected) and the mailman must have thought I was certifiable.  I opened up the packaging and shouted “Woo hoo!” and did a little jig around my living room when I realized I was going to be reading and reviewing this book.  No, I didn’t tape it.

I read, and I read, and I read.  Craig and Jason’s stories about the people they encountered and what LOVE looked like inspired me more and more.  Love didn’t look like just telling them, “Jesus loves you.”  Love didn’t look like quoting Scripture at them.  Love certainly didn’t look like standing on a street corner with a picket sign.  Love certainly also never looked like being at political rallies screaming for “the right thing.”  Love looked like listening.  It looked like feeding a hungry, drunk, depressed man.  Love looked like hanging out with your friend, who happens to be gay, and enjoying a meal and talking (about anything that gets the conversation going).  Love looked like befriending a grief-stricken stranger.  Love looked like making friends with a bunch of drunken teens and carting them around while they were too hammered to walk and then cleaning up their sick.  I wondered if that was what LOVE looked like on me.  I thought that it could. 

I got to the end of the book….

Hypocrite.  This is what I was thinking when I finished the last paragraph of Jesus Loves You, this I know.  Not about Craig and Jason, but about myself. 

In the very recent past, I have spent a whole lot of time on my soapbox.  I’ve been angry with the Christian Church (universally) about its treatment of not only the lost, but the found.  Judgement has swirled through my thoughts, my comments, my heart.  (And for those that I have expressed this same judgement to, I deeply apologize and ask your forgiveness.)  The book really convicted me, quite eloquently, about the truth that Jesus loves everybody.  Even the judgemental.  Even the religious.  Even me.  Even you.

As I was reading this, I kept mentally writing this review.  What I’ve actually written looks nothing like what it did in my mind.  In my mind, I imagined myself quoting all the nuggets of wisdom that were profound to me.  I imagined telling you readers about the value of relating to people in all walks of life.  Instead, what comes out is a humbling testimony of my failure to love others.  What comes out is a candid, personal view into the most private of private struggles in my marriage.  Instead, what is coming out is my total understanding that Jesus loves Me:  as I am and where I am.  

The only quote I’m going to share from the book is something that Craig says in the first chapter, which is available at the website http://jesuslovesyou.net.  It’s just a good cornerstone to relationships.  Whether you are a Christian who is relating with other Christians, a non-Christian relating to non-Christians, or any combination of those, this is an exceedingly critical consuetude to practice in your relationships. 

“It is essential to show people that they can belong in your world even if they don’t act, think, behave, or believe like you.” –Craig Gross

I really recommend getting a hold of this book.  You can click here to purchase it from Amazon directly!  Or go to the sidebar over there and click on the picture!  Craig and Jason are very relatable.  This book addresses people from every walk of life:  from the liars to the porn stars; from the forgotten to the center or attention.  Whether you are a pre-Christian, mid-Christian, post-Christian, there is something in this book for you.  The message isn’t “Be a Christian or you’re going to Hell.”  The message is:  Jesus Loves You, this I know.

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